Taking Time for Myself
This is MY year. Before the elections and the women’s march, before Stevie’s job and the New Years Resolutions, before all the chaos of the holidays and the hip dislocation. Before all of that, I decided to have a good year. No. I decided to have a great year. The past few years have been good, I’ve had a lot of fun, seen a lot of people and done some cool shit. But I have also not taken advantage of opportunities. I have worried about not being with the boys. I worried about taking too much time off work. And I continue to worry about not cleaning my house and staying on top of laundry.
Some time in August, maybe even September, I decided to take a year and just say yes. I decided to book some flights and hold true to some of those, “I am going to come visit you this summer,” “we really should go on that trip.” I have spent a lot of time saying I am going to do something and not follow through with it. Sometimes I wait for plane tickets to get cheaper, and when they don’t I decide it’s too expensive. Other times I just get cold feet and when I am about to commit to making the trip happen, I decide to stay home.
Not this year, oh no. This year I decided to make some stuff happen. The business will be fine if I take a few long weekends to enjoy life. The boys will be fine when I go away for a day or two. Life will continue on.
This started sometime last year. My friend and I went to Bumbershoot one night and I had one of the best nights in a very long time. The next month, I went to Alaska to visit my sister. It had been almost seven years since the last time I was up there. Seven years of saying I would be up in the summer, when the kids go back to school, spring break. Seven years of not going up there and when I finally did I was so disappointed I had waited so long. I had so much fun and the whole trip was a lot easier to do than I ever imagined.
When I got home, my friend and I had talked about going to Austin to the SXSW festival. It was another one of those, “we should totally go,” moments. The one where I talk about it like it was going to happen and then as the time went by say, “maybe next year.” Not this year, I got home from Alaska and booked the flights to Austin. That was probably the moment I decided to just do more this year.
This year I want to be present and enjoy the gifts that are given to me. I want to get away from my small town and see parts of the country and parts of the world. I want to get away from the house work and the busyness I surround myself with.
Even before this year, I have a lot to be thankful for, a lot. I am thankful that I have a partner and a family that helps out with the boys when I am away. I have a business that allows me to take some time away, as long as it’s not too much. And as I begin my year of enjoyment, I am hoping to gain more appreciation for all that is good. I am hoping to turn off Facebook and News and spend time talking with people. I am excited to have dance parties and spend time with the minis. I am excited to see my little lady graduate high school.
This weekend we head off on our family vacation. The minis will get to spend time with their cousins and I will get to spend time with my parents and siblings. It is going to be a lot of fun and I am sure I will find time next week to get caught up on laundry and clean the house.