The World of Nothing
As we near the end of the year and enter into the holiday season, there seems to be too little time and a whole lot of obligations. Our weekends start getting filled up and our weekdays become a time of overflowing with activities. The days are short and dark and the weather never seems to cooperate with our needs. There is so much planning and doing, helping and extending, but what are we doing for ourselves?
In the midst of all the chaos, it is important to take some time for ourselves. It might seem like there isn’t time or we might not have the energy, but somehow creating the holiday spirit has to include so quiet time for ourselves. I find that with my partner gone this year, the holidays are not quite as enjoyable as they have been in the past. People are trying to plan their holidays and in turn are trying to figure out my schedule for the holidays. Here is my answer, I don’t know. And it is an honest answer. It is also an answer that I really like. Over the past lifetime of holidays I have somehow forgotten that I don’t have to do anything. Everything I do is a choice, and it is who and how I choose to spend my time that is going to make this holiday season what it is.
I was talking to a friend the other day about scheduling time for her workouts. Life is busy, life is busy whether or not you work, whether or not you have kids, whether or not you celebrate the holidays. We keep packing in more things into our days and lives, we keep accepting more and more responsibilities. But at some point we need to take a look at ourselves and make sure we are number one on our list. My friend was trying to figure out how to schedule in a few 30 minute workouts every week. Now if I called her up and needed to talk, she could give me 30 minutes. If someone else was sick and needed her to get groceries, she would rush to the store and bring them food and probably make something also. But finding time for her herself is a luxury.
So with the holiday season at our heels, actually it is pretty much swallowing us up at this point, I can only imagine that those stolen times are becoming fewer and further between. My advice to my friend was put it on your calendar, schedule it is as something you have to do, and honestly sometimes we have to do that. Sometimes we have to literally schedule time for ourselves. Once you have that time, respect it, treat it like a doctors appointment or a family portrait session. Treat yourself the way you treat other people, prioritize you.
When we take time for ourselves, sometimes we look at our friends and try to figure out how they come into the picture. In a perfect world, they don’t. Your friends are a great excuse to get out of the house. Your friends are a great distraction to your to-do list. Your friends can even be help on a shopping adventure or a holiday party. But I am not talking about filling up your time with even more obligations. Those, “I just sat down for dinner, I’ll be 30 minutes late.” “I have to run a quick errand on our way.” “You don’t mind I invited ____ along.” All of these are taking time and energy away from YOU.
This is a season that brings with it stresses that are both amazing and horrible. The holidays bring out the best in us and also can leave for some pretty nasty adult tantrums and parenting meltdowns. This season, think about ways you can find the best in more of those situations, think about was you can leave some of the stresses behind, because in the long run it’s really not going to matter. What matters most is you. Enjoy the chaos, enjoy the obligations you can’t get out of, but also find time to be alone with nothing to do but enjoy yourself.