Shit Happens

I just returned from an amazingly beautiful and fun weekend in Alaska.  I have been home for about 36 hours and have a feeling that I need to go on vacation again.  Life can be so much easier when our problems are far away.  

I arrived home after a seamless flight and a restful drive.  But returning home isn't always the easiest thing to do.  The mini men have been a little stir crazy with the stormy weather and are getting on each others nerves.  I had a dentist appointment for both the boys, which I made six months ago, get cancelled at the last minute and rescheduled for four months from now.  

I wasn’t really having the greatest of days but the worst hadn’t even happened yet.  I walked into the studio Tuesday morning to find water in all over the bathroom floor.  To keep things simple, the septic had an issue and since I am the lowest point on the system I got the worst of it.  I almost cried.  At one point I just left and went home.  The problem was going to be fixed but I just couldn’t deal with the aftermath, I couldn’t deal with the moment.  

It all worked out well, or at least it was the best case scenario with this sort of scenario.  When I returned a few hours later the problem was fixed.  I had cancelled class and had the afternoon to do clean up.  There wasn’t a horrible mess to clean up and I just spent about an hour disinfecting everything in and around the bathroom.  

I came home from the studio, poured myself a beer and just took a deep breath for the first time.  I am a very organized.  My house is organized, my car is organized, my schedule is organized and for everything that is not, I have a planner for that.  So when stuff goes off plan it has a tendency to spin me far from the safety of my organization.  In the middle of all the septic issues, I was walked to pick the kids up from school.  I knew I needed to just take a few breaths and understand that there was nothing I could do.  The problem was being handled and my stress wasn’t going to help or hurt any of that.  Even though I knew that, I could not talk myself to that place.  I was worried about change in my plan.  I was worried about how I was going to deal with the aftermath.  I was worried just to be worried.  

This is life.  As much as I plan and predict and prepare, there is so much out of my control.  I love being organized but I also have to leave room for the spontaneous.  Sometimes those moments are filled with fun adventures and unexpected time to myself.  But other times it is an injury or a friend in need or a shit show that needs to be taken care of.  None of us gets to escape these moments, but some of us deal with them better.  

I have gotten a lot better about this over the years.  I have been able to adjust and adapt more now than I ever could before.  I didn’t lose my mind, even if I felt like I might.  I didn’t freak out, even though a toe stub could have sent me over the edge.  I was able to logically know how I should behave.  I was able to communicate with the people around me what I needed.  And I have the flexibility in my schedule to cancel a class and spend the time to put all the pieces back together, including myself.