You Do You
"You do you and I’ll do me.” This phrase is my mantra these days. I use it for parenting, I use it for friends and I’ve used it to get out of a few uncomfortable situations. I may actually be over using the phrase at this point, but it actually makes a lot of sense. Each and every one of us is unique. My wants and needs, my goals and failures, they are going to be completely different from the people around me. Each of us comes with a lifetime of differences. We can compare our similarities, but why? Our differences are what make us the individuals that we get to carry into life. And honestly, there is no such thing as normal or the same. We are barely even alike. Differences are everywhere we look. So lets be the person we are meant to be, not the person next to us.
When you get to be the only you there ever will be, what do you want to be? When you take out other peoples expectations and assumptions, what do you see when you look in the mirror? If we bring out our strengths into all aspects of life, we become stronger. If we put our best qualities out into the world, we have more qualities to choose from. If we compare ourselves to ourselves, we can start to see that every day we are growing and learning. We are becoming a better version of ourselves, just by being ourselves. Most of our stumbling blocks come because we compare ourselves, especially our progress to the people around us. We watch others succeed and feel that somehow we are failing. We watch others struggle and wonder when we will have to face similar difficulties. But here it is, you do you and I’ll do me. I want to watch you stand at the highest points in life and feel fortunate that I got to see you accomplish greatness. I want to be there at the end of your worst day to help remind you of your greatness. But your triumphs and disasters are not mine, don’t worry I can make my own.
In all of our differences and all of our uniquenesses, we seem to be constantly searching for the path that best suits us. I see this a lot with parenting, I look for to my friends who have parented through adolescents. I look for friends who are going through it. And I look for friends who have never been there. A lot of time these people around me are wiser than me and carry with them some good perspectives and advice. I listen, I take mental notes, I ask questions. I learn from their successes and their failures. I add those to me. Because one part about me being me, I get to take what I learn and apply it. I get to ask the questions and see where it takes me.
When you are struggling with being you, that’s fine also. We all have a hard time not comparing ourselves to others. We struggle with the enormity of feeling like being someone else for a day or a week, because some days it seems like an easier route. But we have to remember that nobody can be you. And you have strengths that no one else has. There are pieces of you that people are envious of, that people wish they could have or be. And that is part of being you.
This is a great time to evaluate who we bring to the table. The holiday season is fast approaching and the end of the year is creeping up on us. If we set New Years Resolutions or Goals for 2019, how has your life ebbed and flowed? What came easy this past year? And what are the things that threw you off and took you on a sharp turn in a different direction? If you really struggled with something, well that is part of what makes you, you. And that is something to put at the forefront of the person that will take you forward.
Don’t set goals for what someone else wants, don’t set goals to make someone else successful. Make your goals best suited for you and smash them. Honor the you who shows up at the studio at 6:30am. Hi five the you who after a bad day, still has time to give to your family, to your friends. You bring a lot more to your community, your world, when you focus on being you.