The Art of Adulting
Being an adult sucks. Paying bills, grocery shopping, the never ending pile of laundry, it sucks. And that doesn’t even include the responsibilities of raising kids, running a business and maintaining relationships. Sometimes I look up to see my life filled with to-do lists and alarms. And other times I just want to hide away and binge watch Game of Thrones. Through these differences, I have been trying to balance my down time and my free time. A balance that comes at cost, a price. Time is limited and time alone is hard to come by. Again, adulting sucks. Some days I don’t want to do this whole adult thing. Some days I want to return to a time when life seemed easier. The times when I worried about getting good grades (ok, that was never me), making it home before curfew and hoping my parents didn’t find out that I skipped half my classes that day.
But I am an adult and I have mini people to raise and a business to run. This past month flew by. The days disappeared and the weeks just kept ticking away. I accomplished a lot, I got some serious work done. But I didn’t feel like I got the time I needed to take a deep breath, to take time to myself. My to-do lists didn’t include free time or down time. I used my spare time to procrastinate the never ending lists. I felt like all my time was wrapped up in a daily planner, in expectations and in obligations. My schedule was built around work and kids and kids and work. My free time was filled with little projects that ended up taking more time and energy than I prepared for. And any time I had left, I wasted on social media. In other words my organization skills sucked. My ability to adult was boring. My balance was off kilter. I watched the month disappear and I didn’t feel like myself. Too much time was was spent thinking about what I should have done and not just doing it. I forgot to watch the stars and or lay in the grass. I forgot to have my solo dance parties. My packages of glow sticks accumulated dust. And those nerf guns are getting further and further beneath the bed.
But it is summer. And me and the minis are ready. Fuck the to-do lists and the obligations. This summer is going to be the best summer. I am going to embrace the time I have and spend as little time as possible wishing I was anywhere but here. Adulting will be there when I’ve had my summer. Adulting will be there when I need to be responsible. But this summer we need to have water fights and play Legos. We need to eat ice cream for breakfast and stay up way too late. We need to build forts and search for four leaf clovers.
If I don’t start now, adulting will only get harder. There will always be a list that needs to be checked off. There will always be a project that needs to be finished. But this is now. And I want to open my arms to summer and fall into all the excitement of no homework to help with and lunches to be packed. I want to remind myself to throw out the lists and breath in the moment. I want to enjoy these moments, these years with the minis and with myself.
This summer I am going to take away the “I want to,” and replace it with “I am going to.” I am going to enjoy my late night dance parties. I am going to watch the full moon take over the sky. I am going to put down my phone and read a book. I am going to eat an entire watermelon in one day. I am going to live my summer with the guidance of two adolescent boys. And then I might spend my fall recovering. I will enjoy the quiet of the school year and the consistency of our schedule.