Valentines Day Special
The season of love is upon us. The chocolates are lining the grocery store aisles and the conversation hearts are ready to be opened. The wine isle doesn’t seem long enough and 5 o’clock can’t come soon enough. It’s that time of year where we can take out our heart printed sweatpants and sweatshirts that make us feel cozy and warm. It’s that time when Mariah Carey is always a good choice and we have excuses to give hugs and kisses to our minis. Especially this year, when we have spent most of it isolated and zoomed. A year where our birthdays and holidays have been deprived of normalcy and festivities. A year our patience has been tested and all of us are over this whole homeschool thing. And the lead up to the Valentines Day weekend was working out in 29 degree weather and trying not complain because for some reason that seems better than working out alone in your living room.
The list could go on. The loathing and complaining could be just the beginning. But we need something else to focus on. We need something else to occupy our quiet evenings. This Valentines season I am going to spice things up. I am going to bring love to a whole new level. I am going to love myself. I am going to give myself the appreciation that it truly deserves. Every day I am going to love the body parts I wish I could change and embrace with laughter the personality traits I have worked to improve. Because this season isn’t going to be about being a better human. This season is going to be about me and the person I am right now, in this exact moment.
We spend so much of our time trying to create a better place for the people around us. We have dinner on the table. We keep the house clean. We fold the never ending pile of laundry. We smile when we want to yell. And we yell when we want to throat punch someone. We endure the chaos of today with a warm embrace and words of optimism. All of that is great. All of that is helpful for the calm of our worlds. But this month we can kick back and put ourselves first. We can buy ourselves a box of chocolates and eat them in bed. This month we can hog all the hot water, because we deserve a long shower without interruptions. We really do need to put ourselves first and love the person we are.
As Valentines day came I did have someone who slapped my ass and told me they loved me. I had someone who hugged me and told me I was beautiful. But most of those words were pushed aside with to do lists and daily chores. They were heard but not heard. It is so easy to put all of me out into the world, but so hard for me to really let the world hold me up when I am overwhelmed and overspent. I have insecurities like everyone else. I have feelings of unworthiness and failure. I have feelings of self consciousness and defeat. Some days it is hard to hear the compliments of others when I am bombarded with self doubt.
But I’m too fucking old for this. The idea of loving ourselves is so easy to talk about, it’s so easy to write about, but when it comes to the day to day appreciation, it is fucking hard. That is why this season we need to hijack it. We need to become selfish with our love. It doesn’t matter if we are struggling, if we are treading water in a wave pool exhausted and deprived. What better time to give yourself the gift of self love and appreciation.
We can give ourselves the love we deserve, instead of making excuses for who we are and where we are in this moment. The next day, the next week, the next month, love yourself. Love your personality and the uniqueness that makes you amazing. Love your body and all the cellulite and crows feet, love all the injuries and scars. Love the person you are to yourself and the strengths you carry with you every single day. We have so much love to give, we just need to do a better job of receiving it.
We can get started right away. Every day, write down three things you are thankful for, write three things that you will do to make yourself happy, and look in the mirror and see the strength and confidence that makes you awesome. Spend this season finding and loving the qualities you want and never knew you had, even if you have to squint to see them. This season, give those things a big hug. Show yourself the love and attention you truly deserve. And then when your other half tells you how amazing you are, maybe this time you will really hear them because you have already shown yourself that you are one amazing human being.