Finding Time To Be You
We spend so much time helping other people and prioritizing the things around us, so many of us fall short of actually helping ourselves. We make sure our partners are getting what they need. We make sure our kids have all of their needs met. We make sure work is taken care of. And most of us make sure we bring our good attitudes wherever we go. But at the end of the day, we fall short of taking care of ourselves. We are too exhausted and too drained to think about what we need. We are too preoccupied with the people around us to prioritize ourselves and the things that would make us the better versions of who we are.
When we get on an airplane, before we even take off, the flight attendants show us how to first take care of ourselves before we take care of the ones around us. We apply our own oxygen masks before we help our children, our neighbors, or anyone else. And isn’t that true for life. How can we take care of the people around us if we aren’t taking care of ourselves? How can we provide the calm, the patience, the tolerance to everything life throws at us, when we sacrifice our own sanity to give to everyone else. We are failing ourselves. We are letting ourselves suffer. We are teaching those around us to look towards others to find what really is lost in ourselves.
The honest truth is, most of us probably don’t even know how to care for ourselves. I don’t mean the day to day tasks or the never ending to do lists. Most of us can accomplish more in a day than we get credit for. But what about the self care. How many of us take time every day to be alone and quiet? How many of us look in the mirror and see a kick ass person looking back? How many of us walk into a room feeling like a super hero? Instead we feel guilty for taking time alone. We look in the mirror and see how we fell short of someone else’s goals or we pick apart the things we can’t control. Most of the time we walk into a room and see the strength and confidence of others and forget that we are just as great as everyone else.
There is no time like the present to change all of this, to reclaim yourself. Give yourself 10 minutes or 30 minutes every day to just be alone in your thoughts. Don’t dilute it with music or pod casts. Don’t take away the quite with a phone call or social media. Take the time to let yourself be in your own mind and your own body. Take a short walk everyday, get outside for some much needed fresh air and vitamin D. Fuel your body with foods that you love. And get some organized exercise. These few things sound so easy and yet when we schedule our day we convince ourselves that we don’t have time. We convince ourselves that everyone else deserves a piece of us before we can give ourselves a break.
As summer begins, this is a great time to put you first. The days are long and the temperatures are warmer, even though we have had a horrible spring. Look at the day or the week ahead and see where you fit in. Look at the expectations you put on yourself and you allow others to put on you. Try to put “me” time in before your planner gets filled. Everyday should have at least 30 minutes of time allocated only to you. Because life is not going to prioritize you, that is on you to do it.
If we are truly able to give ourselves that time, we will be much better suited to support and help the ones around us. But more than that, we will see ourselves clearer. We can start to find out what we really want and how we can get it. We don’t need to get lost in other peoples expectations of ourselves or the expectations we put on ourselves to be better and do better. We need to be good to the person we are today. That person deserves our priorities. And I think we will be better at helping others when we help ourselves first. Instead of handing out encouragement, give yourself a much needed hug and a very long deep breath of fresh air. Show up for you.