Learning differences versus lifting differences
I would like to think that I am always right. I would like to think that my way of doing things is the right way and that there is only one right way. But that just is not the reality. And in all honesty I would enjoy winning arguments but I am really glad I don’t have all the answers. Because here is the way I see it, every person is different and those difference make everything more interesting. They add color and texture to our everyday lives and unfortunately for the opinionated ones out there, there is no one right way to do anything.
I have a child with some learning disabilities, we call them learning differences. He is smart, a talented artist, an amazing athlete (I’m not just saying that because he is my child, he truly is amazing) and he has the biggest heart of anyone I know. But he has dyslexia and learning in the traditional setting is not always the right way for him to learn. It is his differences that make for his challenges and also make for his individuality and inventive ways of coping and adapting. The biggest hardship as a parent is I just don’t know what the right way to help him is. All the traditional ways that I have been taught or the books that overflow the bookshelves, aren’t his ways of learning. He does learn the information, just in a way that I don’t understand.
I was thinking about this the other day, as we get towards the end of the school year and he has to spend a few weeks doing standardized testing. I always feel bad that the tests don’t work to his strengths. I spend a lot of my parenting time making sure that he knows he is smart and that all we want for/from him is to do the best that he can. As I was going through these challenges with my child, I started thinking about how this is so true to a lot of people I work with in the studio. I have a specific way of teaching, assessing and tracking progress. And a lot of people need accommodations. People learn differently and need different things to feel like they have accomplished a goal at hand. They are individuals with learning differences.
When I am coaching someone through a squat, I cannot tell them what a perfect squat should look like. I can usually point out a shitty squat. But the right squat is going to need to be felt and experiences. The foot distance, the hand distance, low bar vs. high bar, the butt wink, the depth, all of these things can change from person to person. They can change based on pervious injuries, they can change based on movement patterns, they can change based on strength. It is up to the individual to understand what a squat should feel like and find the way that works best for them. My squat is going to be the best way at the moment for my body and I can use it as an example but not as perfection.
There are wrong ways to do movements, that’s for sure. But the right way can vary so much from person to person. Over the past few years, I have learned to allow people more freedom to find their way to move. And the best part, I learned this not by being right every time, but by being wrong. I learned this by hiring coaches, I learned this by listening to opinions that didn’t always make sense to me. I learned this because my way is not always the right way and more times than not, everyone in the room is doing a different squat and they are all right.
I love that my life intersects at so many places. I love that my child can help me become a better coach just through his struggles and successes trying to figure out his strengths in school. I get to see these comparisons in different aspects of life. I struggled with reading as a child and I don’t know what age I was when I finally enjoyed reading for pleasure, but it was sometime in my 20’s. I think about how we need to honor people’s differences and stop comparing ourselves against others or others against ourselves. I’m not saying that this should be easy. I really enjoy being right and I actually hate being wrong. But being wrong can be right.
I wish I could make school as easy for my mini as learning to move is for my clients. I wish the schools were set up for him to prepare meals and build a BMX track or skatepark. The differences are what makes it fun, the differences are what makes us each have our own super powers.