Break the Rules
“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” Buddha
I’m over it, all of it. The world is upside down and most of the time it is hard to stay grounded and level headed when the path ahead is just a cliff with the unknown and unexpected below. I suggest we all just say fuck it. I want to flush all of my expectations and predictions down the drain and a throw the middle finger at them. I need a restart to everything. I need a do over or better yet a replay. Unfortunately, those aren’t our choices or our realities right now. We are left staring down the cliff, questioning if we should jump or just stand there admiring the view.
Maybe it is time to regroup and begin where we wished we could have left off. I mean most bad decisions start with good intentions. And I am ready for some bad decisions. I am ready to jump off this cliff and free fall into something different. The easiest way to do this with a smile on my face is to start living life outside of the rules and expectations. I am ready to start living somewhere in the grey, where things aren’t so right and wrong, black and white. I think it is time to break some rules and jump with our eyes wide open.
I am tired of following all the rules. I am tired of having my kids home almost every day. I am tired of keeping up with the ever changing regulations to keep my business open. I am tired of all the extra steps it takes in my day just to get to that big ass glass of wine at the end of the night. I never wanted to be perfect, but the rules don’t give us a lot of areas to just be us. My hopes that my good behavior would somehow make this whole 2020 just disappear, came up short. My dreams that I would be in my new space welcoming clients and friends with high fives and ass slaps, just isn’t going to happen. The fairy tale turned nightmare is far from over and we just might be headed into the witches den right about now. We have no idea how long this will last and I am ready to find a little naughty in all of it.
Heres what I want, I want to walk down the aisle in the grocery store, going the wrong direction. I want to have six people at a table in a restaurant. I want to drive around town with two friends and not wear a facemask. I want to high five a stranger on the side walk and not disinfect right afterwards. I want to touch a server on the arm and maybe even whisper something nice in their ear and not apologize. I want to eat off of someone else’s plate and lick my fingers when I’m done. I want to grab a friends baby and just snuggle them and not hand them back in 12 minutes. I want to squeeze all the avocados to find the perfect one and then buy none of them. I am ready to start living life. I am ready to add some personality to this chaos. I am ready to break a few rules just for the sake of laughter. I want to feel joy in the little things in life. I want a piece of normalcy, even if I have to clear my own path to get it.
Everything I had planned for and looked forward to over the past eight months has been cancelled. I could fall down into a darkness of depression and isolation, but what good will come from that. I could spend my time worrying about the unknown and peculiar circumstances we are forced to navigate, but what will I even accomplish. Instead, I want to free fall into the unchartered spaces and embrace the awkward and unique time we live in. I am ready to move away from this space of unpredictability and conformity and find a way back to being me. I want to remember what it was like to be an individual in a sea of people. I am tired of thinking about life starting when this is all over. I am tired of giving away my joys and my happiness to live in this space that seems to feed off negativity. I am ready to start living in the now. I am ready to bring my own person into my spaces and let her fly. We don’t have to live within the margins of yes and no, right and wrong. We can start creating our own space, our own place. We can start making our own rules, our own directions. We can do that while still respecting the people around us. We can do that while not being stupid or disrespectful. But I think we could all use a little fun and a little naughty in our lives about now.