'Tis The Season
This should be interesting. Our holiday season is fast approaching. The anxieties are building and the uncertainty is upon us. This is a season of wants and wishes that no letter to Santa can grant. Our hopes and dreams won’t come from being on the good list or being on the naughty list. We are living through this world of chaos and every day brings new challenges and new appreciations. But seriously, how in the world are we going to make it through the holiday season? How are we going to take in the holiday cheer without the carolers and Christmas parties.
First of all, let’s stop thinking so far ahead and look at the next hour, the next day, maybe even as far as the next week. We should be using our longing thoughts to think about what is right in front of us. Let’s open our eyes and ears to the times we have. We have the choice to see what we want. If we want to complain and bitch, have at it. But if you want to bring in the New Year with optimism and greatfulness, take this moment to see the other side of things. The uniqueness of this time can open us up to creativity, both within ourselves and our interactions with others. We can reach out to people we haven’t talked to in a while, spend an evening drinking wine over a zoom. We can hunker in on a Friday night without making excuses and enjoy a big bowl of popcorn and Home Alone. The chaos of holiday shopping can be hidden away with the forced benefit of online shopping. We can make our way through our holiday list wearing day old pajamas and drinking a big ass cup of coffee (hopefully filled with with Baileys). We can put holiday lights around the inside of our house, light scented candles every evening and feel good about watching Hallmark movies all night long.
But this season, we will have to sacrifice holiday parties, friends visiting from faraway and large family get togethers. We will have to sacrifice the pictures with Santa, the adventures in the city and the Christmas pageants. But, we also don’t have to find excuses for those middle school band concerts, the awkward conversations with people we don’t really want to talk to. We won’t have to stress out about getting dolled up and realizing the dress doesn’t zip up all the way (fuck the Covid-19 weight gain).
As we readjust to the ever changing world, we need to remember it doesn’t have to be filled with wishes not granted and memories clouded. We need to be proactive in taking this time to ourselves and the ones we truly care about. Instead of reaching out into the unknown and stressing out about what we can’t control, embrace the change. Take the opportunities to spend quiet evenings with family and close friends. Take time to breath and meditate. Take time to cook meals you’ve always wanted to try. And as you embark on this new way of enjoying your relationships with others, you should also be spending time building your relationships with yourself. Most holiday seasons are given up to obligations towards other people and things. We run around creating an experience for the people around us, but most of the time we forget about creating these moments for ourselves. Allow yourself evenings to explore what it feels like to do nothing, to be present only for yourself. Most of us could really use a good lesson in taking time just for ourselves, time to reflect and time to be quiet. And it might be kind of nice to curl up in bed at 7:30pm and leave the stress behind. This year, we can take the time to see what is truly important to us and to simplify the expectations we put on ourselves.
So let’s do it, let’s hunker down and enjoy the time we have to spend with the people we want to spend it with. Don’t waste your time and energy worrying about what isn’t there this year. Give yourself a break, give yourself a home spa or splurge on something special. Go through your usual holiday schedules and start listing out the things you really enjoy versus the things you feel obligated to do. Go through your friends list and pull out the ones that you really need to connect with before the year is done.
And if all else fails, drink wine straight out of the bottle, wear elastic waisted pants and eat all the cookie dough before actually making cookies. Be the one who reaches out to those closest to you. Go on walks, meet for coffee, have long phone conversations. We have the ability to create the world we want to be in and this season we can surround ourselves with those we really care about. And we will also have ample time to put ourselves above everyone else.