To New Beginnings
The beginning is breaking through, not with the punch I was hoping for, but with the slow climb to something new and different. I can blame it on the virus, the pandemic. I can blame it on my own transitions and hesitations. Instead, I think it’s time to just celebrate. The time has come to say good bye to a world I’ve known for the past seven years. It is time to say hello to what lies ahead. With every change there is both the door that opens and the door that closes. I just hope this door closes softly with a gentle latch. Because my next chapter has already begun. Ready or not, the studio is moving.
I am slowly packing up seven years of memories, seven years of equipment needed and wanted. Sweatbands, mugs, mini bands, juice boxes, they all get put away with open walls ready to be filled. Since I am not able to teach in the studio right now, I spend some of my free time organizing stuff and getting rid shit. I’m throwing out trophies from Powerlifting meets past. I’m throwing out bands that got thrust too hard and too fast. I’m throwing out equipment that was never used and equipment we grew out of. The piles grow and the room gets emptier, shelves are cleared and cupboards are cleaned.
I will never be able to put into words how much that space has meant to me. The laughter that has filled every muscle of my body. The pride I have when people show up for each other. The tantrums I’ve thrown over missed lifts and heart aches. The dropped kettlebells and snapped bands. The heart to hearts I’ve been able to have, celebrating the best of times, the worst of times and everything in between. And then there are all the personal strengths. All the athletes that have walked through that door accomplished feats of strength. Every athlete pushed themselves to greatness. They found their super powers. And some, believe it or not, even found a love for my rap music. The hardest part for me is leaving without the hugs and high fives. Those moments of connection fill every breath of that space.
The new space is beautiful. The new space is going to be the Studio 2.0. We will have outdoor space and indoor space. We will have the same music and the same workouts. We will have closer parking and lots of light. We will have asphalt and chin up bars. We will have new neighbors that will be cooking up greatness and pouring IPA’s. We have a clean slate to create a world of memories. Most of them will be great, most of you will laugh harder and work stronger. Some of them will be good, most of you will peek at the clock and complain a bit over shuttle runs. And there will be the not so good ones, and we will all be there for those because everyone needs a good ass kicking when life has them down. Classes will go back to something that feels more normal and I promise we will get to high five one day. Oh yeah, and don’t worry, I will still make you do burpees to pull ups.
Honestly, last week was a hard one for me. It was filled with hardships and challenges, loss and loneliness. The fear of being me sometimes holds me back from where I am supposed to go. Even when life hurts, it usually guides me in the right direction. I want to be excited for the beginning, but I am also scared. I like things to be same same. And this is a big change. I don’t like good byes. With the pandemic, I find myself feeling alone. I don’t get to have the grand opening I was hoping for. I don’t get to open the doors on day one with everything in it’s new home. As the move gets closer, some days are filled with harder times and unknown futures. The unpredictability and anxiety are overwhelming for me, I mean seriously I live my life based on a to do list. But every time I start to feel a little helpless and maybe even a little depressed I am always brought back by the kindness of the people around me. They have a way of making me laugh and holding me in the here and now.
I have no idea what this new space is going to create. I have no idea what kind of friendships will evolve. What hardships we will have to endure. The new personal records, the new “favorite” song. All the birthday workouts we get to celebrate. All the champagne we will enjoy. I am so ready for an open slate to let all my athletes begin creating the spaces that they want. I am getting ready for a big good bye. But I think the new door will fly open, we just need to be patient.