I am too old for a soap box.  I have learned that life has too many variables for my way to be the right way.  In the world of training, there are far more right ways to do things than wrong ways.

And lately nutrition, supplements and Ozempic have been topics floating around the studio.  I am by no means neutral in my opinions, but I am open minded and understand that decisions someone makes for themselves is not my choice nor is it my place to put judgement on them.  Medical stimulants and surgeries have been around for a very long time.  Nutritional education/miseducation and crash diets have been around for even longer.  But ultimately it is a journey that we each must make on our own.

Most months I sit down to write my blog with the idea that life and fitness parallel each other on almost every level.  I think about the conversations I have and I think about the experiences I encounter.  I use them as a starting point.  From there I try to merge the two together.  Bringing my life and my studio into synchronicity that not only fills my joy of writing, but also reminds me of how lucky I am.  Life has a way of unfolding in ways we can’t predict nor can we anticipate.  We have to live through it.  We have to experience it as we go.  And we have to hope our story is filled with enough happiness and laughter to dilute the bad times.

Time is something we value.  We plan for it, we try to catch it, we try to contain it.  Time is a blink of the eye as much as it is a 10 hour work day.  It moves at a pace that is both consistent and variable.  It can carry the power to heal and it can carry the power to bring us to absolute frustration.  We can wait, we can predict, we can hope…but only time will tell.  There are those days we barely missed a ferry or the bridge opened right as we turned the corner.  The commute where traffic won’t move and the highway is a parking lot of cars.  The quick trip to the grocery store for that one item where the lines seem to be at a standstill.  These are moments that press on own patience.  Sometimes we might want to yell at anyone that can hear.  Sometimes we might want to storm out or honk our horn to the never ending sea of cars.  In those moments, I tend to see my time as more valuable than any logic.  When in actuality, my life is pretty amazing and these slow downs are mere inconveniences in my day.   

I thrive on predictability and order.  I find calm in a house that is clutter free and clean.  My car has never been a storage place of wrappers and coffee cups.  And if you have ever been in the studio, there is a place for EVERYTHING.  The boxes, the straps, the dumbbells and of course the kettlebells, all have a home.  I have been known to rearrange these things mid class when they are out of place.  There is an order to my every day life that makes me unique and also very happy.  I almost never lose stuff and I purge at least twice a year.  I find it very hard to veer away from this normalcy.  But it is important to challenge myself to get uncomfortable.  Maybe let the house get dirty for a week.  Or let the clean laundry pile up.  Even though I love staying in the comfort zone it is very important to check in with myself and make sure that this need for consistency isn’t holding me back from what may lie ahead.

I feel a little behind getting my blog written.  The month of January wasn’t quite what I had expected or planned for.  It was a month of emotions and a badly broken finger/hand that made most things in life challenging.  There was freezing weather and icy roads.  There were dark days and way too many layers.  I had long phone calls and a fair amount of tears.  The end of the month left me feeling exhausted and discouraged.  This was not how the year was supposed to start.  This was not in my New Years Goals.  Instead of getting down about the whole thing I decided to restart.  January 30th kicked off the beginning of our birthday season and it also started my year in the direction I needed.  I saged my soul and brought in some bright and healing thoughts for my New Year.  I cleansed my energy and started with some blue skies and a new attitude.

The New Year came before I had time to write my last blog of the year.  Some might say I procrastinated but time is flying by and this time I couldn’t catch it.  I wasn’t sure how I wanted to finish off the year and I was even more unsure how I wanted to start the New Year.  I wanted to say, “2024 is going to be a good year.”  But the reality is, I have no idea what lies ahead.  I don’t know the paths I will take or the decisions I will have to make.  So much of these moments will be out of my control, I can only plan so much.  Even with the unknowing, the way I handle these times will be in my control, how I deal with the upcoming year is mine.  The stress I carry, the energy I give out, those will be in my control.  The people I surround myself and the boundaries I put up, those will be in my control.  I am realizing that the years aren’t meant to be good or great, they are meant to be lived and enjoyed.  Our perspectives and how we handle life are what can make a good year great.  For my first blog of the year, I thought I would reflect on last year.  I would give a closing post to open the slate for the year ahead.

We are not perfect.  Our lives are littered with failures and struggles, deficiencies and weaknesses.  With our best foot forward, we can still fall flat on our faces.  Sometimes life isn’t perfect and other times a silver lining needs to be muzzled.  We need to feel failure and experience pain.  We need to embrace imperfections and faults.  Because our biggest lessons in life almost always come from our mistakes, not our successes.

Just like my body, my mind needs some active recovery.  I am sitting in a hotel in Santa Cruz California.  I am alone and away from everything life.  I’ve got a stack of notecards, a journal, my computer and of course a bag of candy corn.  I am taking a break from everyday life to reflect on the present, the past and the future.  Sometimes it is like a ghost whispering in my ear and other times it is a song that forces me into a solo dance party that my downstairs neighbors are sure to feel.  This time away, this time alone, is the biggest gift I give myself.  I do it every year.

This summer went by way too fast.  There was a lot of “could have” and “should haves” and not enough of “that was perfect”.  I didn’t get up into the mountains to hike.  But I went for a lot of walks with friends.  I didn’t get to the beach for a lazy afternoon.  But I had some girls nights and some intimate dinners.  I didn’t walk around as a tourist in my own town.  But I went to a few concerts and met some new people.  There seemed to be a lot of the in-between.  I had time to enjoy some moments, but they seemed fleeting.  And all too quickly it came to an end.  The mornings are crisp and dark and the evenings are coming earlier and earlier.

As much as we can plan for our tomorrows, as much as we can predict what comes next, we actually have no idea.  Each day teeters on planning and deciding.  But all we need is one moment to distract us and move us from one direction to the next.  We can set out our five year plan.  We can put a date on the calendar for a girls night.  We can buy tickets to a far away vacation to escape all the planning and stresses.  But life is a path that’s neither predictable nor certain.  Adapting and adjusting is sometimes what needs to happen regardless of the calculated planning.