Being the Example
How often do we look in the mirror and see everything that is wrong with us? What about pictures, how often is our first thought “I look horrible.” As much as we try to mantra the slogans like “strong is the new sexy,” we are really having a hard time believing them. We might not be able to see the whole picture. But what about when we start hearing young people saying it, especially young girls. Are these really the things we want to pass on to the next generation?
As adults we try and set good examples on how to behave, well some of us probably do better jobs than others. I have been known to throw out some “F-Bombs,” and sometimes my partner is appalled by my language/behavior. But for the most part I try to be a good role model to younger people, especially to young females. And I think most of us think we are doing a good job as role models. As adult women we want to teach the younger generations they don’t need attention from boys to be confident. We try to teach them to be smart and be proud of their intelligence. We try and teach them to be strong and competitive and don’t make excuses for their hard work, thats my favorite one. But then when it comes to body issues we are really failing. We are telling our young daughters, our nieces and other young girls we can influence that they should love their bodies as they are. That if they can be healthy and happy then nothing else should matter.
We are liars. We might teach young girls how to help the environment by recycling or how to help a friend by listening. But when it comes to OUR bodies we are teaching them that hatred is normal, and that criticism might even get you more attention. We complain about how our stomachs look or how there is cellulite on our thighs. We pick apart our uniqueness with absolute criticism, while we want these young generations of girls to grow up loving themselves.
Here’s my opinion, they can see through the hypocrisy. These young girls are learning to self hate before they are learning to walk. They are listening to our conversations to ourselves and our friends about how much we hate our bodies. These young girls are growing up with critical eyes and envy for what they are not.
And I know this might seem a bit negative. Maybe I sound a little too much of a downer, but here is the deal. Change. Maybe even fake it till you make it. Look at your body and love it. This is yours and yours to own. It includes all the hard work you put in with your nutrition and your workouts. It includes all the laughing and wrinkles we get from enjoying life. But it also includes the stress eating and the injuries, the heart aches and the let downs. This is not nearly as easy as it sounds and I don’t want to down play the hardships that women have with their bodies. But we are not sending the right messages to young girls.
Sometimes it might be harder than it has to be, take baby steps and see where you go. When you put on jeans that don’t fit the way they did, maybe they are a little too tight. Look in the mirror and love the way your legs carry your body through life. They get you up in the morning, they chase the littles around the house, they carry the loads of your adventures and sometimes they are the key to a successful dance party. When you try to avoid wearing a bathing suit to the beach, put it on and love all the parts of your body. Love the age spots and the cellulite, love the saddlebags and the stretch marks. Love these things because you want your friends to love their bodies. Love these things because when you see your friend you are not judging every imperfection they have, in all honestly you are probably judging all their perfections. Be your own best friend. When you put on lipstick, tell these young girls it helps people see your smile. Tell them how much you love your smile and you want it to stand out in a room full of people every time you laugh.
It is important to complement other people, but it is equally important to complement ourselves. Show these young girls that they can fall in love with themselves and they don’t need anyone else to prove that they are right. Show by example. We are the women that can make a difference in the next generations. We can start by loving ourselves and sometimes I am surprised how hard that is for many of us. Instead of looking at the big picture, make small changes. And if that still isn’t working, try and be your own best friend. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend or better yet, talk to yourself like you are talking to a young girl. Be the change and learn to love yourself, you might even find that you look damn sexy in a bathing suit.