And So It Begins
The New Year has arrived. The holiday celebrations are memories of the past. The new year awaits us with a new daily planner and a fresh start. There is an excitement to the turning of the calendar, to the changing dates. I love taking some time to take a deep breath and reflect on the past year. All the places and experiences I was able to have, I spend some time shifting my focus from “fuck that was hard,” to “I am so lucky to be me.” As I close the chapter of the passing year, it is time to set goals for what lies ahead knowing it is only an outline of all that will unfold. With that, I open a bottle of champagne and begin planning adventures, prioritizing what matters right now and knowing every plan can be derailed for the best of circumstances and the worst.
This year is going to bring with it a whole world of changes. The youngest, my baby, will be graduating and heading off to college in the fall. He carries with him the ability to adapt to changes, care about what matters, and let the little things go. The big is doing the adulting thing and finding his way into a responsible and reliable almost 20 year old. The bonus is doing great and getting ready to launch. All of this is happening when time won’t stand still. I grasp at the connections we get over dinners and adventures. They answer most of my questions and our time together is usually with laughs and enjoyment.
Those are only a few of my changes this coming year. In May I will be a Mrs and moving in with the Mr in tacoma (but still working in Port Townsend…don’t worry). I’ve got trips to plan and parties to organize. I’ve got people to see and moments to enjoy. I’ve got growth to experience and lessons to learn. With all these big changes on the horizon, this year is one that I look forward to with my heart and eyes wide open.
With that said, it is very hard to figure out where to start with goal setting. Last year I set my goal to volunteer. I was able to finish off the year with more than 200 hours walking dogs at the Humane Society in Tacoma and I still love getting up early every weekend morning to get those pups out of their kennels. That goal challenged me in ways I never could have expected and also rewarded me with a community and heart that keeps getting bigger and bigger. This year I am struggling. There are so many changes facing me I don’t know if there can be goal that is not a to do list.
I would go without any goals, but it is something I always enjoy. There was the year I made a new recipe every month. The year I stretched in the evening for five minutes. But this year is so filled with changes, goals don’t seem to be coming easy. I did decide on a few things, staying off social media during the week, meditating five times a week, spending time with the youngest even if it’s just talking instead of going to bed.
My goals are never about perfection but about challenging myself. And I would be lying if I said I was better than all the first of the year bombardments of challenges. I look back in time when strength gains were part of my goal. The times I wanted to see a different number on the scale. I don’t miss having them, but I miss the places I was in my life that these where my goals. I miss powerlifting. I still lift heavy, but not heavy like I used to. I still workout four days a week, but it’s easy to drop the repetitions or drop the weight just because.
Looking ahead at the new year gives me the time to let go of what didn’t get done last year. I can reflect on changes I want to make and habits I want to leave behind. The beginning of the year for me isn’t about a dry January or a diet. It’s not about making more money or changing the way I look. This year is about embracing what lies ahead. It’s about accepting changes that I want and knew where coming. And also accepting that there are going to be changes and challenges I didn’t see coming. The thought of an empty nest hurts. This year I have gotten to have an extra kid to fill my home and my heart with more than I expected. It’s not about what I can’t do but I can do. I want to give more and do more. I want more dinners and girls nights. I want more trips and more great conversations. I want to drink the best cup of coffee every morning and watch the seasons change with my 5:45am Kobe walks. I want to be present with the people I get to spend time with and learn from them.