Give Yourself a Hug

The transitions of life are constant. When we accomplish one task, there is another task waiting. We are constantly filling our days with responsibilities, some of which need to be attended to immediately and some that may not need to get done at all. At the end of the day, there is usually a replay of all that we did, all that we accomplished. And there is usually the dreaded reality that some things were forgotten or time seemed to disappeared and we go to bed feeling that tomorrow is going to be busy. We might do these run downs as a way to organize our tomorrow and we might do these to justify our day already ending. All in all, most of us put more pressure on ourselves to constantly do more and do better. When in reality, we spend very little time honoring the work we did and the person we are. Instead, we should all finish our day with a really big hug. We should give ourselves confirmation that we did great, not good…regardless of what was accomplished.

The weight of our worlds can be heavy and hard. These worlds can be filled with obligations and tasks. But the reality is, we have a lot more control over the outcome than we give credit to. Yes, its hard, but I don’t have to finish my to do list. Yes, its heavy, but I don’t need to take on someone else’s stresses. I can leave work at work and close that door for the day. I don’t need to go home and lay out all the things I didn’t do or micromanage all the things that need to get done in the future. More times than not I am adding unneeded stress and unfair expectations. I should just take a deep breath, pour a glass of wine and watch trashy television. I should just enjoy the end of my workday and be proud of what I did do.

I spend too much time focusing on what isn’t getting done or what needs to get done and not enough time on my successes. Most days I spin around chasing my tail and my endless chores. I get stuck in a rut and I forget to look around and see the flowers blooming. I forget to enjoy the crisp morning air. I forget to slow down at the end of my day. I need to spend more time giving myself a physical and mental hug.

My first priority should be to take care of me. Like most of the people I am surrounded by, I am in deep. My plate is full with work and family and college decisions and graduations and wedding planning. The heavy stuff takes over my days and leaves me little space for laughter and the impromptu girls night. I find myself looking at other people with envy and awe. I want the easy parts of others lives. I want the parts of life that make it to social media. Everyday I put one foot in front of the other and I keep on moving. Sometimes it feels like a jog and other days it feels like a slow shuffle. Who cares? Who is going to notice if I fold my laundry tonight or if I took the time to shave my legs today. Who is going to notice if finish cleaning the house or if I have meals prepped for the week. Constantly doing these things might make the day to day easier, but I’m not so sure it is enriching my life. I don’t need to do compare myself to others. I don’t need to feel guilty about forgetting my grocery list. I need to be proud of the person that showed up. I need to honor me and give her the hug that she deserves.

So much of our goals are based on others successes. Instead, fuck all of that. Lets start by giving ourselves a brag. What great thing did you do today? Did you do something that made you uncomfortable, maybe a conversation you were dreading or a task you loathe. If so, congratulations, you did great. You did so great you deserve a high five and a hug. Did you make it to the grocery store or floss your teeth? Success. What if our days ended with acknowledgement of all the amazing little things we did to make our world better. Give yourself some compliments and let them settle in. Spend just a little time being your own best friend. Think of all the ways you pick up your friends and put their needs in the front. Do it for you.

As you go to bed tonight, remind yourself how amazing you are. Hold yourself tight. Don’t think about the bad parts of the day or the annoying person who cut you off. Think about a smile you gave or breath you took. Honor everything you did. We can change our mindset from “ohhh shit, I totally forgot,” to “wow, you were amazing today, you totally nailed it.” Praise doesn’t need to come from extraordinary, it can come from the everyday and mundane. If we spent more time honoring the person we are, I think our worlds would feel a lot less overwhelming and we might be a little more gentle on ourselves.