Life is really hard sometimes.  I have written a bit this year about some of my own struggles but today is not so much about me, and yet it is all about me.  We all have hard times and for some, the hard times keep rolling in without much of a break.  As a coach I get a glimpse at some of these times.  I get conversations about the struggles, I see the tears that come from loss or frustrations.  I watch the anger and disappointment that accompanies the lack of control most of us have over the things that affect us most.  And yet these people give themselves the gift of exercise.  They take the time away from their stresses and frustrations and anger to focus on themselves.  

Train like an athlete because you are an athlete.  At what point do we finally lift enough weight, run fast enough or jump high enough to consider ourselves an athlete?  My simple answer: the point when you show up and push yourself to be a better version of the person that walked in the door.  Seriously, the fact that you show up and work hard, is enough.  The fact that you push yourself into the discomforts of both physical and mental places makes you enough.  And it is about time we start looking at the athlete in the mirror and realizing it is us looking back.  

The other morning I was leaving the studio with about eight different things on my mind.  I felt rushed even though I didn’t need to.  I pulled up to the stop sign and pulled out in front of a car.  I was distracted and not paying attention.  And just to clarify, I was not on my cell phone.  The other driver was not happy but reacted in a way that diverted an accident.  I immediately felt horrible.  I almost caused a car accident and could have hurt another person in the process.  I was lucky, lucky the car slowed down and lucky no one got physically hurt…emotionally is a different story.  As I drove home, feeling sick to my stomach, I was also thankful that I was still driving home.  Being distracted and rushing to get somewhere almost cost me a lot more time, an undetermined amount of time depending on the severity of the accident.  Slowing everything down might have take another two minutes, but in the scheme of things, that’s nothing.

There are moments in time where perspective can define the experience.  There are times when all it takes is a different point of view to change the entire story.  I had an experience that gave me this opportunity, and here it is.  Over the weekend my car broke down in Bellevue, which is about two and a half hours away from my house.  I was stuck in a parking lot far from familiar.  I didn’t know where to take my car and I didn’t know how I was going to get it there.  I felt completely helpless.  I wanted to cry and feel sorry for myself.  I wanted the universe to know how unfair this was and I think I needed some sympathy to justify everything that was happening.  But fuck that.  I learned a huge lesson this weekend.  I learned that I am never alone.  I learned that my friends will go out of their way to help me and strangers will offer a helping hand, even though they don’t know anything about me.  

I just returned from an amazingly beautiful and fun weekend in Alaska.  I have been home for about 36 hours and have a feeling that I need to go on vacation again.  Life can be so much easier when our problems are far away.  

It was about 1:30pm on a Monday afternoon.  I had a great morning workout and was finishing up teaching at the studio.  All of a sudden I got hit with a horrible feeling, I felt like shit.  It came on fast and furious.  One moment I was feeling great and the next all I could think about was going to bed.  When I got home I made myself some tea and it hurt to swallow.  I still had an afternoon with the kids and another class to teach.  And all I wanted to do was check out of everything and just get under the covers.  

Sometimes I sit down to write and I turn on the optimism that floats above the moment.  I think of all the experiences I encounter and try to put the positive spin on all that happens.  I try to find the better, the nicer version of what is happening.  But a lot of times I brush over the parts that really matter.  I leave out the important struggles so I still have plenty of time to sugar coat the story and give it a happy ending.  Sugar coating can only tell part of the story, at some point I have to change the focus and bring it around for that all important silver lining. 

January is coming to an end.  We are well over the holidays.  Most of us are getting good at writing 2018, and we are getting some of the structure and consistency back after the chaos of December.  But the end of January is also the time when the excitement of those 2018 goals have worn off.  Maybe the reality of working really hard towards your goal has kicked into high gear.  Maybe the goals were too grand.  Or maybe you are smashing your goals and making them into easy habits.  If you fall somewhere short this month, if the struggle is beginning to set in.  Relax, it is time to take a deep breath and put it all into perspective. 

It is officially a new year.  The holiday lights are disappearing and the long winter nights are settling in.  It is time to restart and begin planning out our year ahead.  It is time to leave the past in 2017.  As someone who always wants to know where the finish is before I start, this is always a hard time to navigate.  I really want to know what is ahead, what is in store for me before I venture too far out.  So I start where it is easies, I begin with prioritizing my time with family, friends and teaching.  I start penciling in vacations and birthdays and girls nights and even a few lazy days.   

I love this time of year.  I love the slowness that life takes on once Christmas is over.  I have to remind myself that the holidays are a season, not a day.  It is not a build up to one day, but it is a whole bunch of little memories and traditions and experiences that create a season.  And when Christmas is over, the season is not yet finished.  There is still time to enjoy the festivities, but without a lot of the pressure.  This last week or so of the season can be filled with a sigh of relief and relaxation.