How often do we look in the mirror and see everything that is wrong with us?  What about pictures, how often is our first thought “I look horrible.”  As much as we try to mantra the slogans like “strong is the new sexy,” we are really having a hard time believing them.  We might not be able to see the whole picture.  But what about when we start hearing young people saying it, especially young girls.

Fairness has been on my mind lately.  Mainly because I hear about how unfair things are, a lot.  As a parent of two boys ages 10 and 12, there seems to be a lot of unfairness in our house.  I probably hear the statement, “that’s not fair,” or “it’s not fair,” no less than five times a day.

The past few weeks I have written about some not so fun subjects; lying, being old and an exercise disorder.  I was trying to think of something new to write about, maybe cellulite or callouses, but I needed to change gears, even if it’s only for one post.  I was afraid of getting into the habit of writing about silver linings to things that pretty much suck.

This is really hard to say but I will, I am in recovery from an exercise disorder.  I self diagnosed this disorder after I came into recovery.  It’s hard to see disorders in the moment, partly because when I was living it, I thought it was awesome.  And partly because when I came out of it, I had to face a wall that wasn’t easy to get over.  But one day it hit me, it hit me hard, really hard.

I am officially old today.  Bring out the black balloons with “Over The Hill” written in white bold letters.  Man this was a hard one for me.  The number itself was hard and then add to it the crossing into a new decade.  Leaving behind the best decade of my life.  I am going to make the most of it but not because I want to, but because I have no choice. 

I sat down to write this a little while ago and put it on the back burner.  And after this week, I feel like it could pretty much sum up our political arena.  But for this moment, I am going to escape that and talk about lying that happens every day all the time.

Most of what I write comes from a conversation I had.  This is no different.  I had a conversation with a good friend of mine the other day where the question of steroids came up.  I stated that I have never tried them and she was a little surprised.  Not because she thought I took them regularly but because I carry a lot of muscle for a female. 

This is MY year.  Before the elections and the women’s march, before Stevie’s job and the New Years Resolutions, before all the chaos of the holidays and the hip dislocation.  Before all of that, I decided to have a good year.  No.  I decided to have a great year.  The past few years have been good, I’ve had a lot of fun, seen a lot of people and done some cool shit.  But I have also not taken advantage of opportunities.

It’s that time of the year when all the gluttony of the holidays has a way of waking us up on January 2nd or 3rd and reminding us that we are not happy.  We think back through the previous year and start to lay out all the things that fell short.  Basically we usually set New Years Resolutions that are unattainable and basically just punishment. 

What did 2016 teach me?  Where do I start.  This year was such an amazing year on so many levels.  I got to spend time with friends, took a few trips, drank a lot of really good beer.  I have been able to watch the Raiders win more than 10 games.  I have thrown some epic tantrums and kicked my own ass in some crazy workouts.  I have grown as a trainer, I have grown as a mother and I have failed a lot.